Diary of a Hapless Underwriter
Herbert Geoffrey Bumstead, senior
underwriter, Hapless Insurance
Bumstead began his illustrious career at PanFinancial,
before moving to Municipal Mutual Insurance. He then joined Independent
Insurance, before accepting a move overseas to HIH Australia. En route
back to London, he was briefly employed by PCI in Costa Rica, before arriving
back in EC1 and joining Hap Insurance, which merged with Less Insurance
in the 1980s. He rose through the ranks from junior underwriter to senior
underwriter in just forty years. He has applied on many occasions to join
both the Institute of London Underwriters, and the London Insurance and
Reinsurance Market Association, and is still unaware that they no longer
exist.
Excerpts from past years:
- 14 October 1987
Feeling good about the move into UK property insurance. Have started small by focusing on south-east England to start with.
- 24 January 1990
The move back into UK property insurance in the south-east England is underway. After the fiasco of three years ago, I’m feeling confident. Got some good rates, which is surprising really, as the experts say that the windstorms of 1987 were a once in a century storms.
- 2 March 1990
We’ve launched a brand new product recall product, in a package with product liability, and we’ve already got a first client, Perrier.
- 16 January 1994
Settling staff into their new office in Northridge. How long has it been since California suffered an earthquake? Ages, so it would seem as though the techtonic plates or whatever it is have settled down for good. In which case, I should be quids in with my new book of business in California.
- 16 January 1995
I should have realised last year that California is on a major fault line, but at least I’m safe with Kobe. I mean, its been decades since there was even a tremor in Japan. Rates weren’t great, but better than nothing.
- 12 February 2001
Just got a couple of new D&O clients – boards of blue chip companies so should be no major problems. The first, Enron Corp, has just been declared “America’s Most Innovative Company” for the sixth consecutive year, while the second, WorldCom, is the second largest long distance phone company in the United States.
- 19 November 2002
Could an OBE be coming my way? Got a very important bit of business today. Going up in the world I think. Incredibly, we got the fire insurance business for Windsor Castle. That makes the Queen my policyholder. Imagine!
- 4 June 2004
It looks as though global warming might be slowing down the number of hurricanes in the Atlantic, according to some experts, so I may dip my foot in the catastrophe market again this year – should be a quiet Hurricane season.
- 4 June 2005
Got it wrong last year on the catastrophe side, but “once bitten, try again” I say. I mean, how bad can it be, for hurricanes, compared to last year?
- April 2006
After the disasters of the last couple of years, I’ve decided to keep well away from cat business. Time to diversify. Affinity business is all the rage now so I’ll think we’ll have a bit of that. Nice and steady, nothing too risky. Shareholders are getting jumpy. Maybe just some doctors stuff in the US, or auditors, or Catholic dioceses.
- May 2006
Been offered some very tasty business - medical negligence cover for the Guild of Former Alcohol-Abusing Neurosurgeons. Strictly US business, of course, but that’s fine. I believe the US legal system is one of the more robust ones. And I hear there is a medical negligence crisis in the States, which I guess means that capacity is in short supply, so could be a good time to go in.
- June 2006
Business really flowing in now on the Affinity side. Latest coup is to provide E&O insurance for the Association of Dyslexic Auditors. Also, was asked to quote for the Silica Manufacturer’s Association. My first thought was “Hold on, Bumster, this could be tricky stuff”, but after I talked to them I realised that its perfectly safe.”
- July 2006
D&O looks good at the moment. Apparently, there’s some stuff about backdating stock options which is driving rates up, but its hardly likely to lead to a class action!
- September 2006
Have written some tasty business doing D&O for those nice chaps from loseapacketonline.com. Met an awfully nice chap wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt who told me he was the CEO. Assured me the business was as white as a lamb's coat, kept stressing how tough those regulatory chaps are on the Nicobar Islands where he lives.
Poor chap must obviously have had a hard night last night, as he kept his mirrored sunglasses on all the time. Something in those banana daiquiris must have made him skittish as when the cleaning woman knocked on his hotel room door, he shot straight up in the air. Woman must have been in the wrong room as she kept referring to him as Mr Juan Smith, when I know for a fact his name is Dean P Salzenpfeffer.
- October 2006
I was recently approached by a short, rather fearsome American Johnny who offered me a once-in-a-lifetime deal to write a retrospective reserve cover. When I asked him what a retrospective reserve cover was, he said "You're my kind of guy, Limey. I like people who don't ask too many questions," and then started muttering something about being betrayed and how he could murder a spritzer.
So I asked Juanita, the lovely waitress, if my guest could have a white wine and soda. When she brought it over to the table, he looked bewildered and asked what it was. When I said it was a spritzer, he looked at me like something the retriever had brought in and called me a "chucklehead." Still, business is business.
