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A source at a leading insurer has revealed how its reinsurance broker panel has been “completely wowed” by the quality of the talent on offer at its US broker parade. The cedant is currently searching for a new broker for its US business, having recently hired a UK broker following a long series of broker parades. “We’re looking for an all-singing, all-dancing broker with real talent. Preferably a cute little kid, or an unattractive older woman,” said the source.
At last month’s UK broker parade, the panel were faced with an array of talented brokers. “One broker started his casualty presentation, but was stopped by one of the judges, who insisted he’d ‘heard it all before’. The judge told him instead to try a cat XL presentation on the property side and the broker just went for it – he was really fantastic,” the source revealed.
Another broker broke down in tears half way through but, with some encouragement, was able to continue. “He was the bravest little broker in the world,” said the source.
But the biggest shock came when Stephen Boil stood in front of the panel. “He just didn’t look like a broker,” said the source. “He wore brown brogues, a cream suit, a cravat, and all topped off with a panama hat. We all had a good laugh when he walked in thinking there must have been a mistake. But once he started his presentation, we were soon put in our place. He was brilliant. The judges mouths were on the floor.”
According to reports, the broker’s EML’s were immaculate, and his PML’s were mind-boggling. And when he started with his paid loss retro calculations, the panel knew he was “the real thing”.
In the second round he continued to wow judges with his contingent BI extensions, and his natcat forecasting was second to none. Unfortunately, he was pipped at the post by an all-dancing broker from Supabroka. Media reports said it was sadly all too much for him and after suffering a mental breakdown, he ended up working in motor insurance.
The latest market barometer/thermometer/pedometer from management consultants VãcUöusity has revealed that the market might possibly be “stiffening”. In its latest report VãcUöusity said, “We think the market may be congealing a bit, maybe a lot, though possibly scarcely at all, but there is movement. Put it this way, insurers have no capital, no investment income, no business, loads of claims, salaries to pay, and shareholders to appease. Given all of that, there could be residual upward pressure on rates. Possibly.”
Harvard J Thwakkenbakker IV, senior vice at VãcUöusity, said “In the past, when there has been a long, enduring soft market, and insurers have made no money for years, they tend to put up rates a bit. Careful analysis by our experts suggests that this might be happening now. Or not. It’s a bit unclear. They are either going to go up or stay the same, that’s for sure. Unless they go down.”
The online motor insurer Sparrowcover has defended its decision to use 12 year old car jacker and YouTube star Kyle Chavbutt as the star of its latest ad poster campaign. Chavbutt gained notoriety when film of him speeding around the North Circular in a stolen car while smoking a crack pipe attracted millions of viewers. Complaints to the advertising standards authority from people with nothing better to do pointed out that Chavbutt would not be able to purchase insurance from Sparrowcover to cover his exploits. A spokesman for Sparrowcover said the firm was not endorsing Chavbutt's behaviour but the ad was intended to celebrate the youngster's enterprise and love of adventure.
The UK composite insurer OoArYoo has claimed that its decision to simultaneously rebrand and sack its entire workforce was a major PR coup. A spokesman for the company said that national news coverage of its massive restructuring and name change meant that awareness of its brand was at an all time high. "Our new call centre in Bhutan has been inundated with policyholders calling to cancel their insurances with us," spokesman Terry Scaipgote said. "Fortunately, our agents in Bhutan do not speak English and are unable to comply with their requests. As a result we have not lost any business yet our name is on everyone's lips as a result of the changes."
BIG Insurance, sponsors of Cholmondley FC, says it will continue to back the team even though it has been relegated to the Triple B insurance rating league. The insurer, which has not won a major client for over five years, pays Cholmondley FC around £50 a year to have its name emblazoned on the team's strip.
Cholmondley FC chairman Graham Wideboy said he was surprised that BIG had not even been able to pick up any industry awards this year. "All their best players are leaving them and they must be the only insurer not to win a single award from any of the magazines this awards season," he said. "I guess that makes them our ideal partner as we haven't won a single game."
The Financial Supervision Authority of the Pitcairn Islands has closed its International Financial Services Centre following a major financial investigation. The move is a major setback for the wannabe captive domicile in its stated aim to become the New Bermuda.
The Pitcairn International Financial Services Centre, a small hut on the windward side of the island, was the subject of an investigation to determine exactly how many companies were registered at the IFSC. The IFSC was found to have one registered company – the Pitcairn Island Insurance, Legal and Banking Investment Hedge Fund Limited Partnership Group.
“We only found one company operating out of the centre,” said a local farmer who heads up the FSA. “Obviously, the Centre is simply an office, masquerading as a tax haven. If we’re gonna challenge Bermuda in the next five years, we need the hut to be operating flat out as a tax haven, stuffed full of nameplate companies. It was clearly failing in that duty and had to be closed down.”
Pitcairn Island has a unique tax system – the tax rate for profits of any kind is zero. However, losses are taxed at 280%. “Until last year, this was a real winner in the global marketplace. Now, no-one will touch us with a bargepole,” said the farmer regulator.
KETTERING June 19, 2009. Data ProLapse the leading provider of global risk management footware, has announced the launch of Global Risk Platform Boots in several underwriting hubs around the world. Data ProLapse says the technology platform boots represent a groundbreaking solution that will take brokers to the best placement options regardless of size, industry, coverage line or dodgy geographical location.
The Data ProLapse technology platform boots come in 10 different sizes and are equipped with the most up to date retrieval firmware known as R-Soles. The real-time electronic platform boots, available as e-slip-ons or out of the box e-lace-ups are designed to guide brokers through placements, from the cringeing submission of the underwriter to quotes and binding.
The Global Risk Platform Boots are so technologically advanced even Data ProLapse’s own geeks and nerds don’t know how they work. “What we do know is that brokers wearing our Global Risk Platform Boots will be taken in the direction of the best placement options and will stand over underwriters like Gods or Goddesses,” said Data ProLapse chief executive Toby Malware.
The Global Risk Platform Boots not only allow brokers to dominate the line at underwriters’ desks, they combine sensitive pheromone scanning technology with the latest GPS technology to identify and locate weak or vulnerable underwriters. Bionic sensors in the oversize soles of the boots allow brokers to pick up valuable information on quotes already received by rival brokers.
“Brokers equipped with our Global Risk Platform Boots will be able to literally and metaphorically step on their rivals’ toes and walk all over underwriters,” said Kevin Killabyte, DataProLapse senior design consultant. “Not only will they increase brokers’ footprint, the Global Risk Platform Boots will allow them to seriously kick underwriters’ ass.” [Are you sure about this? Ed]
Data ProLapse says it is working on several Global Risk Platform Boot variants including an offshore version for wearing with Bermuda shorts and another smart-casual loafer type model for conventions such as Monte Carlo or PCI.
Steve Cobblers, commercial lines account executive with London market broker Skint Broking has been trialling Data ProLapse new solution. “We’re at an inflection point in the underwriting cycle with clients asking for rate cuts and underwriters looking for increases,” he said. “Equipping our guys with Global Risk Platform Boots allows us to rise above both and dictate whatever rates we like.”
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