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6 EU bans investors from looking at ratings
In a move designed to prevent rating agency actions from precipitating a systemic collapse of everything, the European Commission makes it a crime for Europeans to look at ratings from US agencies. New legislation rushed through the European Parliament prevents financial institutions from accessing ratings actions in print or electronic format. The move creates a black market in unsafe bogus ratings opinions in Europe and eventually precipitates a full scale trade war with the US. Brussels retaliates by launching its own EU agency that will only issue A range ratings "to bolster confidence".
7 Lloyd's is hit by triple whammy of emerging risks
Lloyd's is forced to abandon its iconic Lime Street HQ after being hit by a trio of emerging risks. First, a massive solar weather flare-up causes all its new fax and telex machines to cease functioning. Later in the year a pandemic cocktail of mad cow disease and swine ‘flu sweeps through the building making the market's mad cows and swines stay at home [oh please. Ed]. Finally, climate change induced high temperatures cause the building's metal cladding to melt. "What are the odds of that happening?" said one company's CRO.
8 Longevity risks grow
The insurance industry wakes up to find that it has been taken over by a small group of incredibly rich, very old, American men who refuse to retire to spend their last days counting their money. Instead the incredibly rich, very old, American men keep launching start-up companies and buying insurers. Even though everyone except their wives wish they would give us all break, the incredibly rich, very American old men still get into the office earlier than everyone else and run on treadmills while barking orders at their staff and looking at overhead Reuters screens.
9 Model companies' new glue controversy
Modellers cause an outcry when they change the glue supplied in their revised balsa wood cat model packs. When companies use a bowl of water to simulate a tsunami hitting Manhattan, the new balsa models resolutely refuse to fall over. One Bermuda cat reinsurer will say, "My underwriters rely on models that show a high probability of New York being washed up into Boston and drive up rates accordingly. I have thrown bowl after bowl of water at this new model and it will not budge. That can't be right. Plus, I've got it all down my shirt now."
10 BRIC economies emerge
Officials in the fast growing BRIC countries tell insurers and reinsurers in the US and Europe that they have changed minds about liberalisation. They would like all foreign institutions to go home now because they are worried about systemic risk contagion. Also they are sick of all being clubbed in together under one silly acronym and no-one is really sure what the R stands for. "Is it Russia or would it more accurately be BrIC?" a pedant will ask.
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